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More Than Milk Project. Healing from loss.

I’d love to be a part of the project because, while I’ve been a nursing mama, I’ve never experienced the joy and bond of nursing my own baby. -Olive’s mama.

From November, 2015: My breastfeeding journey began after my daughter was born last July. She was born unresponsive and taken immediately to Children’s Hospital where they were able to stabilize her for the next 36 hours until her passing. Her death was unexpected. I was asked to start pumping while she was in the NICU and was able to give them some colostrum for her. I pumped the short time we were there and then we went home, with empty arms and empty hearts.

The next morning my milk had come in. I had a choice. I got the pump out and began pumping. At the time I didn’t know who the milk was for, I just knew that it felt right. For the next month I pumped several times each day and stored the milk in my freezer. One evening I saw a plea on Facebook where a mother was asking for milk for her infant son. I responded immediately and a few days later delivered her what I had. While my breastfeeding journey only lasted a month, it was a powerful month and one that made me realize the importance of breastfeeding – regardless of whose baby I was feeding.

With my third child due (I miscarried my second and never had milk come in) in about 8 weeks I pray that he and I will be able to have the breastfeeding journey I long for. I intend to exclusively breastfeed until I have to return to work, but plan to pump when I’m able and feed him from the breast the rest of the time. While my breastfeeding journey was nothing like I intended, I felt very supported when I was pumping. It wasn’t something that I was very open about at first, but my husband and family knew that I felt strongly that, while I wasn’t sure what I would end up doing with the milk, I wanted to keep pumping. I am certain that I’ll be supported this time around as well.

Shortly after my daughter passed I started blogging about our journey and have since become an advocate for infant and pregnancy loss. I’d love to be a part of the project because, while I’ve been a nursing mama, I’ve never experienced the joy and bond of nursing my own baby. I want to be able to be a voice (or face) to other loss parents to help them to see the joy that can still be experienced in this lifetime – specifically after the loss of a child. Many loss parents struggle with connecting to their rainbow babies. I know it’s something I fear. We specifically found out the gender of this baby (we hadn’t known with the others) so that I could begin the process of bonding with him before he made his appearance. I know that breastfeeding will be extremely emotional for me, but it’s something I’m looking forward to so much. If you’d like to learn more about our journey, feel free to visit my blog, Olive and Her Branches. 

April, 2016:

Breastfeeding has been one of the hardest things I’ve done, but it’s also been healing. I look at my son and realize I’m doing more than nourishing him- and he’s doing more than just eating. We’ve connected in a beautiful way, where we both need each other. Parenting after loss is an emotional roller coaster. Finding room in my heart for both children has been easier than I thought it would be. I’m saddened that I never got to experience this connection with my daughter, but love the quiet moments with my son where memories of her flood my heart. Moments that I find myself telling him her story and connecting more to her through my bond with him.

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Mothering Through Nursing.

celebrate breastfeeding

I love the title of More than Milk and it really resonates with what breastfeeding is to me. It’s about more than just nourishment of the body.

I wanted to be a part of this project to show mothering through breastfeeding. There are so many different ways to parent and breastfeeding can be an excellent way to build a relationship and bond with your child. I love the title of More than Milk and it really resonates with what breastfeeding is to me. It’s about more than just nourishment of the body. I want to help showcase another side of breastfeeding.

My daughter was born a little bit after 7:30 am making me a mother early in the morning. I struggled latching her that day and during the night a kind nurse sat with us for an hour and helped really get her latched. We had our first successful feed in the quiet wee hours of the morning thanks to a nipple shield. We used the nipple shield for a few months and I was gradually able to transition to just breast. As I started nursing, it was based on her cues and I just thought of it as providing nourishment. Over time I came to understand that nursing isn’t just about nourishment but also the relationship between her and myself. I mother through breastfeeding. I’ve found breastfeeding is the way we connect, the way we calm, the way we fix boo-boos, the way we get ready for the day. Nursing a toddler is a bit different from a newborn (there seems to be a lot more movement and toes involved), but each have their own sweetness and difficulties. I often joke to my husband that I won’t know how to fix things without nursing.
I’ve been so lucky to find a community of people who support breastfeeding. From the very beginning at the hospital where the nurse sat with me for an hour and helped me to finally latch and feed to the lactation consultants and other mothers who support nursing. The only negativity I’ve received has been from some family who don’t believe a child should be nursed after the age of one. They’ve made comments about being one of the people who nurse till the child goes off to college. Luckily, my biggest supporter is my husband. He doesn’t see breastfeeding as just nourishment. As a new mother, I had no idea the demand that nursing would place on everything. My supportive husband was always there when I needed him. When I worried about supply and ordered Milkin’ Cookies at 3am there was no judgement; just support (FYI, they are pretty delicious). When she wouldn’t sleep at night unless attached to my breast, he allowed us to start bed-sharing so everyone could sleep better. When I spoke to him about my decision to not night-wean, he was supportive, even though he still gets awakened at night now and then.

If you believe that breastfeeding is beautiful and More Than Milk share this post! Let’s encourage one another on this beautiful journey.

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See where we started. And sign up for News and Updates (scroll to the bottom) and/or follow us on Facebook and don’t miss another More Than Milk Project post!

More Than Milk Project. Here We Go!

Nora, 8 months old. more-than-milk-breastfeeding--1406A-Edit“The first weeks of breastfeeding were challenging and painful. I tried to do everything “right” – keeping track of when Nora nursed and for how long and working diligently on her latch. At her two week doctor’s appointment, I found out that she she was still losing weight and was absolutely heartbroken. I immediately sought help from lactation consultants at the hospital where she was born and even saw a pediatrician who specialized in helping breastfeeding moms. We had to supplement with formula for a bit, but I worked so unbelievably hard to increase my supply.  Ultimately, I learned that the best thing I could do was trust Nora – she knew exactly what she was doing and would let me know when she needed and wanted to nurse. I’m still on medication to help maintain my supply and will continue to take it until she turns one (as it it costly), but I wouldn’t change our breastfeeding relationship for the world. Nursing has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life and has allowed me to have the most amazing bond with my little girl.”

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If you live in the Milwaukee, Wisconsin or San Francisco Bay Area and would like to be a part of this project, apply here. 

more-than-milk-breastfeeding--1442A-Edit more-than-milk-breastfeeding--1432A-Edit more-than-milk-breastfeeding--1426A-EditHelp us #normalizebreastfeeding and share this post!
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More than Milk. A model call.

I am a huge supporter of breastfeeding. For me, it was one of the best parts of mothering my young children. I knew, even pregnant and 16, that I would breastfed my children. It’s not just about milk; it’s about that little face looking up at you with big, trusting eyes and the bond you create during those sweet moments together.  

I have decided to do a photo project celebrating the beauty and bond of breastfeeding. As a mom who loved these moments with my children I want to help share the beauty of the bonds in hopes of inspiring other mothers to choose to nurse their babies. I nursed my four children and I treasure those memories.

Together we can help more mothers overcome the challenges and enjoy the wonderful experience we’ve been blessed with. <3 

If you live in the Milwaukee area and are interested in being a part of this project, please fill out this form and we will be in touch. More Than Milk Project Application Wait! I think the form is broken. Fixing it!

See our first post here. 
breastfeeding project

breastfeeding project

breastfeeding project

breastfeeding project

I am lucky to have this one photo of myself with my youngest daughter from 2006. My husband took this for me when I realized, with alarm, that I didn’t have a single photo of any of my babies like this. I treasure this photo and the memories it evokes.  more than milk project

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